A New Pair of Shoes

I finally bought myself a new pair of shoes, since I've needed to for quite some time (years, even?). I've been disappointed by the cheap shoes I've bought the last couple of summers--loosing their shape after just a few weeks and falling apart shortly thereafter.  But even though I found a great quality shoe that I liked, and knew would last a long time, it was still difficult to swallow the $90 price tag.  I had birthday money from my mother-in-law, however, and decided to "splurge".

However, over spring break I gained a bit of a perspective change.   



For spring break we visited Historic Nauvoo, and learned all about life in 1840.  An interesting fact we learned was that a pair of shoes cost a person about one day's worth of earnings.

I've heard facts like that before, but for some reason it made me actually stop this time and literally compare it to my own situation with the "expensive" pair of shoes I'd just bought.  Jeremy isn't employed full time right now, but if he was employed full time, at his current rate of compensation, a $90 pair of shoes is a completely reasonable purchase according to the standards of the 1840's.

I've been learning a lot more the last few years about cheap clothing--how we have way too much of it as a nation, and how the price of clothing has actually dropped over the decades encouraging people to buy more and more, and how this has brought with it personal dissatisfaction, and other social, economic and environmental problems.

My friend Aleatha sews new clothes from "old" clothes she picks out at thrift stores-- she was the first one to introduce me to the fact that our country ships bales of all our old donated clothes off to "charity" to other countries where they often are turned away, because the poor countries already are swimming in an excess of American hand-me-downs!

It's hard to not buy cheap clothes when you feel like you don't have much of a budget for this basic necessity of life!  But I've been realizing that I definitely feel the burden of cheap clothes in my life, and that maybe my life would be better with fewer, better clothes.  It's frustrating to waste a limited budget buying things that fall apart or stretch out quickly and need to then be replaced.  I also have plenty of things in my closet I bought because it was a great deal--but it wasn't really what I wanted, or doesn't fit right.  I hang on to these things guiltily because I recognize the lack of social responsibility in throwing out something I've only worn once or twice, but of course hanging on to them makes no sense at all.

I have a major problem with clothes for my little boys too.  We live off of hand-me-downs for them.   We've received hand-me-downs sometimes from multiple sources at once.  I was never selective--I'd put it all in the drawer, because "beggar's can't be choosers" --right?  And, yes, there are 3 pairs of khaki corduroys, but one pair might wear out and we'll need a back up. . . and a back up for the back-up--right?.  At one point a few years ago I literally gave away half of our 2T clothes to a friend with a baby boy, and when Wyatt worked his way through the 2Ts last year, I couldn't tell that anything was missing. 

Our problem is that all these clothes take up space.  We have a big family and live in a small house.  We really don't have enough room for our closets and drawers to be filled with clothes we don't wear while the handful of things that we love go through the short cycle of body, to washing machine, to folding table, back to body, without ever even making it to the drawers!

If we only wear a few favorite pieces of clothing, then that's all we need in our house.  If they are well-made, they should last a long time, and when we need a replacement we can acquire it at that time.  I'm psyching myself up (see me?)  because it's time to purge.  I need to make room for the new baby, and there's no reason for me to hold on to things just because they are already here.

My goal would be to let these feelings of stress over getting rid of things make me think harder in the future about what new things we bring into our home.  And really, I hope that I can keep the perspective I've been developing (really in a lot of areas in my life) about not insisting that the cheapest option is, by default, the best.  I want things that are high-quality and last, that I don't have to replace after one season.

And based on those principles and the lesson I learned over spring break--I will now wear my shoes without any false sense of over-indulgence, but a sense of respect for quality, and responsibility to take the proper care of my shoes so that they will last me a good long while. 

Tackling the Toy Surplus

It is really easy to accumulate too many toys.  With a number of children--particularly when they are all the same gender--the toys just accumulate with each additional birthday, or Christmas, or bored afternoon stroll through the big box store.  

It's hard to recognize the point where it becomes too much.  But I've definitely felt lately that there is too much.   I want my children to respect and feel a stewardship over their belongings.  That doesn't happen when there are toys all over the floor that they are stepping on because they pulled them all out looking for something else.  Having less toys would help help them appreciate and care for their toys more. 

Also we have toys of varying quality.  "Experts" say the best toys for children are ones that allow for open-ended creative play.  Toys that serve more than one specific function.  We really would rather have fewer toys and have them be ones that the boys end up playing with regularly rather than once in a while.  

But It's really hard to get rid of their toys.  For us and them (but mostly us). 

One thing we've done over the last few years to get rid of toys is giving them to friends that have babies.   I tell the boys "Don't you think Clark would love this penguin bowling?"   And then I let them help me wrap it up and give it to their baby friend.   I tell the parents that we're cleaning out toys and thought their kid would love it rather than us throw it out.   Then they see it as a great idea not as you giving them a cheap present--it's very hip to be "green" after all-- Then the boys are happier to see their toys go.  

A huge local twice-yearly consignment sale is coming up this weekend.   Last time I took a few toys/games and they actually sold better than my clothes (Since my clothes aren't that nice.) So I'm doing all toys and accessories this time.   Owen did start crying when I went off with the bin of toys (but I ended up bringing home the one he was crying over since it didn't sell so he was happy).   This time I took the toys this morning when Owen was at school.  What he doesn't see won't hurt him. 

I'm trying to get rid of toys that the boys don't play with much and toys that are doubles (Serve the same function of another toy) and toys that are annoying.  Like games that make a huge mess ant aren't really much fun anyway.   These are the easiest places to start because you don't feel so bad about getting rid of them.


But the actually getting rid of the toys is hard (as opposed to putting them in storage) because we --and I'm talking parents here-- often have emotional attachment to things like "it was from Nonny" or something.   But it's better to have a house that is livable and not stuffed to capacity rather than hold on to things that are past their useful stage.   The other thing that makes it hard is looking at the toys and seeing the money that was invested in them.   So to get rid of them we have to first "suck it up"  and realize that we are losing the money associated with those toys (or on the other hand say "Yeah, I got my $10 worth of fun out of that toy") and then use those two kinds of feelings to help us make more wise buying choices (or choices to not buy) in the future.  

As for the kids.   I've heard of a trick if you think your kids will flip out about you getting rid of their toys:
Take the toys you think they won't miss.   Put them away in a box in the garage. Leave them there for a month.   If your kid asks for a certain toy specifically you can go get it for them (without letting them see the box of toys) Anything they haven't asked about after a month you give away or sell or whatever. Most of the time they won't notice their missing toys--they'll notice the toys that are left behind--because all of the sudden they can see them because they aren't covered in clutter!  

I've really been feeling overwhelmed with toys recently, so I tried to over-purge rather than under-do it.  But I probably could have done better and gotten out more for this sale.  As Jeremy and I have started trying to get rid of things we have definitely realized that WE are a big part of the problem! This time Jeremy says any toys that don't sell we will just give away--we're that serious about clearing out.