The Day I Learned to Not Resent Doing Dishes

Housekeeping is not my strongest suit.  I love being a homemaker and stay-at-home mom--but housekeeping is a struggle for me.

Dishes, in particular, have been my least favorite task. (One of the problems is that I love to cook, but make a big mess doing so.)  Jeremy and I have had a loose agreement since getting married that dishes were going to be "his job".   The problem is--dishes aren't really his strong point either.

Me, in an apron.  (For making, not cleaning!)

I remember one time early in our marriage my dad came to visit us in our 7 foot high basement apartment with one small sink in the kitchen, and (if my memory is correct) he literally spent multiple days doing dishes to get us caught up.  (Without a hint of disappointment in me--which was the greater service?)  And over the years there have been multiple occasions where a good friend would help me work on dishes when she came over to hang out.

The thing is, I always felt like dishes were my responsibility.  So in the same breath as asking Jeremy to take care of the dishes I would claim responsibility for them.  Because "everyone knows that dishes are a woman's job."  Jeremy was not saying this, nor did he believe it, but I was telling myself it.  So I would sulk and moan over the dishes, and resent the time I spent working on them.

Until one night, while in the midst of a pile of dishes I was pondering my resentful feelings and pondering my responsibilities in our home and the words of The Proclamation to the World on the Family came to my mind:

"Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children."

That's what it says.  It doesn't say, 'and that means women do all the housework and change all the poopy baby diapers.'  In fact in terms of physically caring for our households the proclamation speaks of both parents:

"Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live." 

And further notes to do so in unity and equality:

"In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."

And it hit me and sunk in--Doing the dishes is not my "responsibility" as the woman in the home.  It's just not.  And for anyone that thinks, from a cultural standpoint--as I used to--that "yeah, but it really is," is wrong.

When I die and stand before the judgement bar, I will not be asked if I faithfully washed all my family's dishes.  

That moment changed my outlook on doing dishes.   I no longer work on dishes resenting the cultural mandate that it is my responsibility.  I know it is not my responsibility, and when I work on the dishes, it is as a service to my family.  It's as a service to my husband.  It is as an opportunity for me to help make our home the environment we want for our family, but it is not because dishes are the "woman's job".  

Dishes are still "Jeremy's job", but since that day I've chosen to do this dishes much more frequently than before.  I feel a greater sense of satisfaction when I work on the dishes.  And I'm grateful for the knowledge of what my responsibilities as a woman and a mother truly are.  

It's the twentieth anniversary of The Family: A Proclamation to the World, and there's no denying that the topics were revelatory for this current issues of this generation, and I believe the doctrines were as well.

Circle Around Quilt

It's interesting the way a project as big as a quilt comes along.

I worked on this quilt three days at a time every six months!  That's why it took three years.

The last time I had pulled it out was right after baby Rory was born.  I made great progress, and then didn't get it out for six more months!

A month before Jonas' birthday I decided it was time to finish.  I knew it was a reasonable goal, I just had to make a sustained effort and not put it away again after three good days.  

And I did it!

It did require borrowing my friend's sewing machine at the last minute when mine went on strike!  (Thanks Emily!)  And begging the advice of a stranger at the fabric store for binding fabric advice--but I made it.

I love the fabric and the colors.  In the end I chose to back it with a sunshine-yellow quilting flannel.  I really want this quilt to be one Jonas will cuddle up in.  We received a simple quilt for a wedding present that was backed in flannel, and it's so cozy, so I knew I would use flannel.

The fabric choice for Jonas' quilt top was very intentional.  It has these sweet woodland motifs with mushrooms, woodland critters, and --most important-- acorns!  When I bought this fabric, Jonas was a sweet little speech-impaired toddler who loved to collect "atorns" on our walks.

(I can still hear it!)

I chose a brown patterned fabric to bind the quilt in, because I always had imagined the quilt having more brown in it.  Quite a few of the pieces have brown, but the quilt is mostly predominantly the off-white.  The brown binding just brings out a little more of the brown fabrics, which I had chosen because of Jonas' beautiful clear brown eyes!

I'll have to get some pictures of it on his bed to show the binding, and the backing.  But when I have free time at night the quilt is always busy doing it's job of keeping my sweet boy warm and cozy.  

Pretty Pyrex

I added more to my budding vintage Pyrex collection this summer.  Two mixing bowls from the early Spring Blossom Green collection from the 70's.

Pyrex in action: pasta salad version

I love the vintage Pyrex.  All the mixing bowls I got for my wedding were either white stoneware or clear new Pyrex.  My vintage decorated Pyrex dishes make me smile when I pull them out of the cupboard.  They add something to the ambiance of the meal when they are on the table.  Happiness!

There's tons of vintage Pyrex for sale on Ebay, but I love finding it on my own thrift store adventures.  Finding matching pieces is especially fun. 

This is the smaller bowl of the matching set.  It's 1 1/2 quarts and I find it's a super-useful size.

They've been lovingly added to my "collection" including my two 1950's Amish Butterprint refrigerator dishes from my Grandma's kitchen.

And my two 1980's Shenandoah pattern "Cinderella Bowls" (with a pour spout and handle) that I also found at a thrift store.

Finding My Inner Minimalist

I've been struggling for a while with something I know to be true:

I would be happier with less stuff.

I know it.  Jeremy and I have moved three times since getting married.  Each time was excruciatingly painful.  I would pack up dozens of boxes and look around at a still-full home and wonder "What IS all this stuff?!" By the end of the process I am cursing each and every item I place in a box.

I want to live with less.

As we contemplate moving again in the near future, I'm starting to panic.  We've had three more kids since moving in to this house, and acquired quite a bit of other stuff as well.  All this stuff makes me feel stuck.  It makes me feel like we can't actually move, even if we could find a job.  It weighs me down, cementing me firmly in this place.

I know I can live with less.

I studied in Vienna, Austria for four months one summer.  I lived, happily for four months with the contents of one large suitcase and a satchel bag.  So I know that deep down inside of me is someone capable of being a lot more minimalist than my current surroundings would indicate.

This week I've been reading a "Special Commemorative Issue" of TIME on Steve Jobs that came out right after his death.  It included the iconic picture of him in his living room, surrounded by just about nothing.  (Taken the day before I was born actually.)

I don't really see that as my end goal. But I wouldn't mind a similar open room free from piles of stuff stacked around the perimeter. 

I can't start "living with less" in my home while I'm still surrounded by all this stuff. 

I just saw on Pinterest this post on 101 physical things that can be reduced in your home.Basically the author's idea is that to get started going minimalist simply begin by purging your home of excess.  Don't get rid of all your ". . . ", just get rid of the "excess" of that item.

I liked it for a number of reasons.  #1 I agree that it is a lot easier to reduce in number, as opposed to completely remove.  #2 I agree that beginning this process immediately feels good and simultaneously encourages getting rid of even more stuff. #3  I liked that I had already come to understand this technique on my own and have been steadily working on it this last year as we prepared for baby and to move.  (Validation! I am headed the right direction!)

From his list of 101 thing here's what I've worked on thus far: 

Glassware (I got rid of our extra ceramic mugs and all the plastic kid cups/dishes since I bought break-resistant Corelle for the family.)  
Kitchen gadgets (Having only one set of measuring cups means that I sometimes have to wash something in the middle of a cooking project, but it lessens my dishes pile at the end of the day, and that's a good thing.) Pots / pans We've done this slowly over the last few years getting rid of the Teflon, and realizing that we don't have to replace every pan just because we had it before.  
Tupperware(I had a box full of lids with no bottoms!)  
Magazines(My solace was--"I can find these ideas on Pinterest")  
Books/Cookbooks (This is hard. I've always wanted a "library" but when I realized I wanted a library of good books not crappy ones, I've started to look more critically at our collection.)  
Make-up (I really don't wear it, so why keep it around? Plus, makeup has a limited shelf-life anyway.)  
Cleaning supplies/ Bottles of shampoo/conditioner (Making my own soap has gotten rid of a lot of this excess.)
CD’s/DVD’s (We've gotten rid of all the plastic clam-shell and jewel cases except a few prized ones of Jeremy's and mine, and keep them all in a giant CD book instead. They take up a lot less space now.)
Stuffed animals (We let everyone in the house pick 2 to keep--That's still a lot of stuffed animals, but we got rid of a grocery sack stuffed full.)
Clothing (Always a work-in-progress.)

It feels good to look at that list and see all the purging I've already done.  But like I said, every thing I get rid of makes me want to get rid of even more.

Here are the things on the list that I see as my next steps:

Kitchen appliances (We have two waffle irons--we really only need one even thought they are different shapes.  We probably have a few other appliances we'd leave behind in a move as well)
Mixing bowls (We've got some we're still using, but are cracked and we won't move them with us.) Over-the-counter medicine (I'm not really a medicine-type person, other than for occasional headaches, also it turns out just about everything we have is expired anyway. Time to purge.)
Sewing supplies (My plan is to get rid of anything I did not buy, or do not have a specific project in mind for.)
Scrap-booking supplies (I've moved on to printing photobooks instead.  Extra bonus=photobooks take up way less space than scrapbooks.)
Audio/visual cables/Video game systems/Video games/Video game accessories (This stuff definitely needs a purging before we move.)
Winter gear (Particularly single gloves and mittens with no mate!)
Towels (I'm holding on to what I know is an excess of towels because I figure we'll use them to put in between furniture in the moving truck when we move.  Then I'll get rid of the junky ones.)
Manuals (I know I still have manuals from appliances that stopped working years ago.)
Scrap pieces of lumber (The backyard needs a purge as well.)
Board games (Hard to get rid of, but there's no use keeping ones we never play.)
Unused wedding gifts (Esp, home decor items.)
Old schoolbooks/papers (I've got a box or two from college, and Jeremy has a ton from his graduate program in the basement.)
Toy cars/trucks (Yea, they multiply)
Childrens’ old school papers (I feel like I'm throwing away their childhood, but I can't keep everything.)
Christmas / seasonal decorations (Jeremy was asking: what if we just decorate for christmas only with things out in nature? Pine cones, bittersweet branches, evergreen wreathes? Sounds good.)

I would add one more thing to his list for easy purging, more of a category than an item: Anything received for free.  I've decided that anything that I've gotten for free I am not going to stress about getting rid of.  Hand-me-downs, prizes, stuff friends unloaded on us when they moved away . . .  There is plenty of that to get rid of.   

So my new mantra is a quote my sister shared recently (and I've been thinking I should chalkboard it) is, 

Your life 

does not get better 

by chance, 

it gets better 

by change.

Well, Change, here I come.

Utensil Wall Art

 I've had a silverware wall art idea on the back burner for quite a while.  I finally completed the finishing touches this afternoon.

The first time I wanted to do the project was when I saw these large utensils made out of silverware:

 I saw these back in November and headed out to the thrift store right away to buy a supply of old silverware.  But once I got it all home along with large canvases from the craft store I realized these are really big.  As in my hall/dining room isn't big enough for these suckers.  So I sat on the idea for a while waiting for inspiration to strike.

And it did strike-- I saw the idea of spray painting the silverware along with some frames white, and mounting them on fabric.  

 The final product is still pretty modern with the white, but with a hint of sophistication that the first project was lacking. 

The silverware artwork fits well on the wall above our dining table, and helps to define this part of the space in the strange center of the house room that you have to walk through to get from any single room in our house to another. 

After completing the project and taking pictures outside (the very first picture) I realized that I had oriented the silverware differently than I had meant to.  Jeremy's vote (he is a designer after all) was to do it this way so I tore off the spoons and forks and re-hot-glued-them, but I still kind of like that top picture where all three frames are oriented up and down.

What do you think?

I'm sharing this post here:

Bagging

I may be behind on my bags.  I haven't cleared 40 bags of junk out of my house yet--of course it's not Easter yet either--it's been just over one month. (Good thing I've actually got 46 days.)

I've completed about half my goal.  I made a sheet to mark off my bags to track progress and motivate myself.  I arbitrarily marked half of the bags recycling bins and half as garbage bins.  I've actually been surprised to see how little I've just thrown away of the 20 bags I've purged and how much of it I have donated, or sold, or given away, or recycled.

I have purged baby stuff--extra crib mattress, car seat base, and car seat that will expire before our next baby.  Toys and stuffed animals (There's always too many.)  Movies--since we have Netflix there's no reason to hold on to ones we might watch once every few years, so I purged half our VHS collection.  Yes, VHS, those things take up a lot of space too.  Clothes--Jeremy got rid of some, I got rid of some more, we passed on some baby clothes, and got rid of some scarves and winter accessories we never used this last season.  Other things were a book and a game I swapped on swap.com, and I mailed out a bunch of leftover product to friends and family from a home-based sales company I joined in college. 

I spent a good week on one of my paper piles.  I had a bag for recycling, and a big bag of shredded paper by the end, but I need to do more work.  The thing about a goal like this is working through the stops and starts.  At first it's easy--there's 10 bags to get rid of off the top of your head.  Then you work slowly through the next 10-20, thinking harder and coming up with more ideas.  Jeremy and I have talked about how the point of this goal is to make it all the way to 40, and that those last 10 bags will be the hardest--they start to get to the painful point.  But if we really want to make a difference in our home we have to get to that painful point. 

I'm the type that when a pile accumulates I stack it up in a box to clear off my desk and I put the box away to "go through later," or when there's too many toys I'll "organize them better" packing them ever tighter into the shelves.  But it's not just about making it fit or looking uncluttered on the surface--believe me--my boxes of hidden junk cry out to my from their hiding places disturbing the peace I want to feel in my own home.  So here we are--pushing through the lulls in our work and motivation .  I will make it to 40 bags.

I will.

Tackling the Toy Surplus

It is really easy to accumulate too many toys.  With a number of children--particularly when they are all the same gender--the toys just accumulate with each additional birthday, or Christmas, or bored afternoon stroll through the big box store.  

It's hard to recognize the point where it becomes too much.  But I've definitely felt lately that there is too much.   I want my children to respect and feel a stewardship over their belongings.  That doesn't happen when there are toys all over the floor that they are stepping on because they pulled them all out looking for something else.  Having less toys would help help them appreciate and care for their toys more. 

Also we have toys of varying quality.  "Experts" say the best toys for children are ones that allow for open-ended creative play.  Toys that serve more than one specific function.  We really would rather have fewer toys and have them be ones that the boys end up playing with regularly rather than once in a while.  

But It's really hard to get rid of their toys.  For us and them (but mostly us). 

One thing we've done over the last few years to get rid of toys is giving them to friends that have babies.   I tell the boys "Don't you think Clark would love this penguin bowling?"   And then I let them help me wrap it up and give it to their baby friend.   I tell the parents that we're cleaning out toys and thought their kid would love it rather than us throw it out.   Then they see it as a great idea not as you giving them a cheap present--it's very hip to be "green" after all-- Then the boys are happier to see their toys go.  

A huge local twice-yearly consignment sale is coming up this weekend.   Last time I took a few toys/games and they actually sold better than my clothes (Since my clothes aren't that nice.) So I'm doing all toys and accessories this time.   Owen did start crying when I went off with the bin of toys (but I ended up bringing home the one he was crying over since it didn't sell so he was happy).   This time I took the toys this morning when Owen was at school.  What he doesn't see won't hurt him. 

I'm trying to get rid of toys that the boys don't play with much and toys that are doubles (Serve the same function of another toy) and toys that are annoying.  Like games that make a huge mess ant aren't really much fun anyway.   These are the easiest places to start because you don't feel so bad about getting rid of them.


But the actually getting rid of the toys is hard (as opposed to putting them in storage) because we --and I'm talking parents here-- often have emotional attachment to things like "it was from Nonny" or something.   But it's better to have a house that is livable and not stuffed to capacity rather than hold on to things that are past their useful stage.   The other thing that makes it hard is looking at the toys and seeing the money that was invested in them.   So to get rid of them we have to first "suck it up"  and realize that we are losing the money associated with those toys (or on the other hand say "Yeah, I got my $10 worth of fun out of that toy") and then use those two kinds of feelings to help us make more wise buying choices (or choices to not buy) in the future.  

As for the kids.   I've heard of a trick if you think your kids will flip out about you getting rid of their toys:
Take the toys you think they won't miss.   Put them away in a box in the garage. Leave them there for a month.   If your kid asks for a certain toy specifically you can go get it for them (without letting them see the box of toys) Anything they haven't asked about after a month you give away or sell or whatever. Most of the time they won't notice their missing toys--they'll notice the toys that are left behind--because all of the sudden they can see them because they aren't covered in clutter!  

I've really been feeling overwhelmed with toys recently, so I tried to over-purge rather than under-do it.  But I probably could have done better and gotten out more for this sale.  As Jeremy and I have started trying to get rid of things we have definitely realized that WE are a big part of the problem! This time Jeremy says any toys that don't sell we will just give away--we're that serious about clearing out. 

40 Bags in 40 Days

My house is interfering with the things I want to do with my life.  It's holding me back.  It's just in the way.   

Clutter is like that.  Even when I push it out of the way--I still know it's there (hiding) and it holds me back. I think "I can't pull out the fabric to work on Owen's quilt because I really should clean off the craft desk."  "I can't make Valentine's sugar cookies with the boys because I should clear the clutter out of the kitchen."  "I should spend some floor time playing with the baby--but there's so much junk in the toy room."  "I'd like to read a book--but there's laundry overflowing the hampers in the bathroom." 

When we moved into this house (almost exactly four years ago) I thought that "finally" I was in a house big enough for our needs.  I recognized that it was actually even bigger than our needs--thankfully so, since we've added two more family members since that day--and that if all our "stuff" couldn't fit comfortably into this house that would mean we had too much stuff.

Even two kids later I stand by what I said.  Our house is just over 1,000 square feet.  3 bedrooms, a living room, kitchen, dining area/center of the house room, and a laundry room.  We even have a basement which is good for a little bit of storage, moldy as it is.  But that is a decent amount of space for a starter home--much larger than the New York City apartments that those hip and stylish bloggers live in all cute-ly with their kids--so yeah--it's enough to work with. 

We don't "do Lent" but last year I was really intrigued by the 40 bags in 40 days challenge that I saw go around last year during lent.  Clutter and excess junk being the vice women tried to give up for Lent.  I talked over doing it with my sister, and each of us did get rid of some bags--but it's always easy to get rid of a few bags of junk.  It get's intense trying to get rid of a bit more.  I need it though.  I need something intense, and I need it to be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attractive, Realistic, and Time-framed.  This goal fills each category.  Having a time frame, and in this case a pretty short one, is good so that I get started right away and don't waste time.  And then when it's over it's over no matter what the outcome.

Lent begins tomorrow (Wednesday) and technically lasts for 46 days this year.  I really hope they'll be productive for me and my house.  I have a few things that I'd already started working on here recently, but since the bags aren't gone yet I'm still counting them--the whole point is to get rid of the bags so they no longer take up space. 

And hopefully when I am all done my whole house will look like this staged picture I took to show my mom and my sister my new wall photo collage.

Aaah, clean!


Come back tomorrow and I will be discussing my plan to clear out the toy room--but don't worry I don't plan on blogging about the cleaning for 40 straight days, I'm pretty sure that would interfere with the whole point of the goal.

Seasonal Display

 I was worried I wouldn't be able to find a place to display seasonal items after we got rid of our piano which had been the perfect display surface. But we did quite a bit of rearranging throughout the house.

 We ended up with a book case against the wall in the dining are just off the kitchen.  It holds all our cookbooks (and Good Eats episodes) and has a top that is smaller than the piano, but still really great for a display area.

I didn't redo our silhouette pictures--maybe next year I'll update them.

But we did pick up something new to add to the spooky decor this year.  These funky metal skeleton arms.  Technically they are salad tongs and they are really cool.

But it's now a full week after Halloween, so we've put away the pumpkins and pulled out the pilgrims.  My kids have already forgotten about the mostly-uneaten bucket of candy on top of the fridge, and that's OK.  Bring on the pumpkin bread and molasses cookies.

Back to School Dinner

I can't help it--I'm a girl living in a house full of boys.

I have these wonderfully girly dreams and visions of things I'd love to do in our home with our little family
. 

But something gives me the impression that my children don't share my vision.

Owen was simply annoyed that I wouldn't let him watch a movie while we got dinner ready, and why I wouldn't pour him any of our "special drink" while he was waiting, and what was taking so long with dinner anyways?

He didn't really care that the whole point was trying to make a special evening to celebrate him starting kindergarten.

Jeremy was in charge of dinner.  Steamed broccoli and cauliflower, garlic smashed potatoes and since it's cherry season we had pork chops with cherry-mustard sauce.

And a french cherry clafoutis.

Jonas enjoyed our family feast, though he was highly annoyed that he had to drink his "special drink" out of a regular glass instead of a "fancy" glass.

Even Owen got a fancy glass.  But it was his special dinner afterall. . .   Oh yeah, and Jeremy--he's going back to school again too.

Mini-House

Our house is 1,024 square feet. With the 8 different areas and rooms it's divided into-- the rooms of our house are pretty small.

Because of this, all our furniture is all on the diminutive side. We have "love seats" instead of couches, Jeremy and I share a double bed (Yes, a double. Quite comfortably actually.) and our dining table that we bought from a President's Day Sale (because if there was any holiday that we were planning our wedding weekend to coincide with it would be the one honoring our late honorable presidents) is a mere 2-1/2 by 4 feet.

This furniture has all worked out wonderfully for us because we lived in apartments before this house and we've always needed to maximize limited space. With that thought in mind we finally decided --in upgrading Owen's sleeping arrangements-- to go with a nice set of twin bunk beds.

Today was delivery day and they called this morning to let us know that the headboard of the bottom bunk arrived damaged, but they could still deliver the top bunk if we wanted. Since we only plan on using one bunk for the next year or so anyway we told them to go ahead and deliver the lone bunk.

The workmen arrived and set it up:





TAKE IT BACK!!

It takes up the entire bedroom! And it doesn't even have the bottom bunk yet! I'm sure Owen can continue sleeping on a crib mattress until we can afford a bigger house. In 3 years. . . maybe 5?

He'll only be 10. . .

Unfinished Business

I started "nesting" about a week ago. Yeah, the first day or two I was really freaking Jeremy out. (He's got some serious schoolwork he's trying to get done before the baby arrives. )

But I had made these lists of projects that I wanted to get done, some because they are needful before the baby arrives--like setting up his crib--but others because I don't know If I'll ever finish them after the baby arrives.

One of these projects is my couch. I went out and bought fabric to recover it, worked on it for two days (and got some good things done), but then set it aside for 8 months without touching it again. I put some serious work-time into it this last week and got a bit of help from Jeremy taking the frame off the bottom.

And now its. . . almost done. It's looking finished, it's stapled under all the way around the edge, but it's actually not quite done. If you pick up the couch cushions, you'd see a bunch of raw edges that I still need to staple down and sew down and whatever else I'm going to do. It was by far my most ambitious project, and I feel good about it being almost done.

My next project was recovering Jonas' car seat. Owen used the seat for three years. Then I made a new cover for Jonas to start using it. I made the cover with limited fabric remnants so I had some constraints and made some mistakes. After two years it's ready to be recovered.

I have this fun baby safari animal fabric that my mom got me from my brother's mission in South Africa. I improved some mistakes I made last time and I think overall it turned out pretty well.
I worked on it Friday evening and Saturday morning while taking a break from the stressful couch.

On Sunday Owen came in to me where I was napping and said. "When I am all done playing Lego Star Wars you need to come out and fix the chair, because it has a rip in it and you need to sew it up."

That made me really happy, just to know that Owen recognizes the way that I am trying to sew and be industrious for my family. And his first reaction is to say not "This is ripped we need a new one," but "This is ripped, Mommy needs to fix it with her sewing machine."

Recovering the chair actually didn't involve the sewing machine, but a staple gun, and it took only like 20 minutes. We'd already recovered it before in fabric that matched the curtains my sister made me for my birthday a few years ago. Luckily she had sent me the two large scraps of fabric she had left over, so I could recover the chair. We used the bigger one last time, but the smaller one was still enough fabric for me to use to recover it again.

That project had not been on my list of things to do before the baby came, but it was a quick and satisfying project.

My last project I finished up (to the extent I am going to) last night. It's the quiet book (see the next post). The good thing is that with all these projects done, I can now put away my sewing machine for the time being and move the craft table back out of my living room. It was convenient to have it out so I could just work when I had free time, but I'm ready for the room to feel less cluttered again.

Hooray for feeling better about the baby coming, instead of feeling like he's coming in the middle of my house being a complete torn apart mess!

The Madness

Seriously, who's idea was this crazy project?

What crazy muse puts ideas like this in my head, and tells me I am capable of accomplishing them on my own?!

I think it's the same one that convinced Jeremy he could chop down the formerly gargantuan tree in our backyard, with only a ladder, a chainsaw, a hatchet, and a buddy.

(It's hard to tell but that's a one foot hole where the trunk of one of the branches gouged into the earth as it fell.)

You'd better steer clear of us, the madness might be contagious.

Organization

We've got big changes going on around here. First off, we've got a baby coming in 6 weeks. Jonas turned two and has officially grown out of the crib stage. So we are bumping Jonas from the nursery and Owen is happily welcoming Jonas in to share his room.

. . . And we've decided to give letting the boys sleep together a whirl.


It's currently still in it's trial phase, but looking past the 1-2 hours that it's been taking them on average to fall asleep together at night, our nighttime visits from both boys have actually decreased. After the first couple of days we are now receiving an average of one nighttime visit between the two of them (a great improvement).

So if the boys are going to be in the same room (which they are--even if we decide to put them in separate beds) we need to get the room organized for two boys.

So while walking around in Target last week we saw this bin shelf on sale for $22 off, and I said: that's perfect! It fits two boys worth of jammies, socks, underwear, and diapers, with room for more.

The best thing I like about this idea of bins is that it will be very easy for the boys to manage themselves. If laundry has been cleaned and I hand them each a pile of socks and say, "Go put these in your sock bin," they know exactly what to do with them. There's no dresser drawers to pull out and jam socks into and leave hanging half open, or just throwing them in to whichever drawer has space instead of an assigned "socks" space. (I think I'll put pictures on the bins of what goes there so they can tell even when they are empty.)

Also, if we say the to the boys, "It's time to get ready to go, please go grab a pair of socks," once again they know exactly where to go and get them for themselves. Our boys are old enough for responsibility and accountability--more for Owen, obviously--and we need to help facilitate that.

And, on the other hand, we (I) also need to be reasonable about my expectations for maintaining order in a household of BOYS! Open bins of socks and underwear may not get my boys' room into any high design magazines, but if it is going to work--that's what we want.

Chores and Motivation

We've created a chore system in our house. We worked well on it for a while and then lagged off. So it's time to start again. We need to get this house into ship shape before the baby comes.

I looked at lots of ideas before deciding what would work best for us. In our system, everyone has a column of chore cards. Yellow are morning chores. Pink are for the evening. Blue are for bedtime. The purples are weekly chore cards.

So here are Owen's:

Morning: Help Mom with breakfast dishes, Make bed and put away jammies, and Help Mom with laundry.

Evening: Help dad feed chickens and get eggs, Set dinner table, and Clear away own dishes.

Bedtime: Put away toys, Put clothes away or in dirty hamper, and Brush teeth.

Weekly: Help carry in groceries, Empty bathroom garbage and replace bag, and Help Mom water plants. (I think there's a few more too: Help Dad take recycling, Help Dad with yardwork etc.)

Each time a chore is completed we put the card into the plastic envelope next to the chore chart. At the end of the day you get a sticker if you completed all your daily chores, plus an additional sticker for each of the purple weekly cards.

The stickers go on our family goal/prize chart.

Yes, I believe that children should help out in the family without incentive, but I also know that I, myself, am more motivated to do something if I'm going to get something out of it. Plus, we are still teaching our children (and ourselves) beneficial skills and habits. And after we earn our prize, hopefully the habits will remain and we'll all be better off.


So we are, as a family, earning up to buy a Nintendo Wii. It's been a decision long in coming. Jeremy went through his whole Master's program without a gaming system, for which I am very grateful and proud. But the time has come where I think there may be a place for a (strictly monitored) gaming system in our house.

The last caveat in our deciding-to-get-a-Wii decision was, that we weren't just going to go out and buy it on a whim. So each square on our chart represents one dollar towards buying the system. (Although, hopefully we will buy a used system, etc. to make it cheaper than new.) And we will work together and anticipate it, and hopefully our house will be a cleaner and more organized place because of it. . .

Here's hopin'.