Changes

We aren't sending Owen back to school this year.

It's been a decision long-in-coming, hard and yet very simple at the same time.   Debates rage all around the issue of schooling, and yet all we can do is be true to ourselves and the desires we have for our family and our children.  Our peace about the decision has come as we did our best to block out any "supporting" arguments one way or another and trust our hearts. 

One year ago I got Owen dressed in a new outfit, packed his lunch and put it in his backpack, took his picture on the front porch, and walked him down to school with his little brothers in the stroller--along for the ride.  I dropped Owen off to line up in the gym with the rest of his class, then waited down the hall for his class to walk by on the way to their room.  I saw him walking along with the other kids, took his picture as he smiled at me, walked on past us, and disappeared into his classroom.  I sighed a brave sigh, then turned around to see this:

Jonas, absolutely devastated at being abandoned by his brother cried the whole walk home.  (He hadn't known we were walking somewhere together to go leave Owen.)  And as I walked I wondered what I was doing to our little family. 

Kindergarten was great for Owen.  He made friends, learned to read, had a great teacher, and didn't even get in trouble 1/8th of as often as I had expected.  There are always little things that bug you, but the main thing that bothered me was simply: Owen was gone from us.  And as the year went on it was the same issue: he's gone all the time. 

I have always acknowledged homeschooling as an option for my children.  We did a "mommy preschool" for Owen, and when we started Owen's speech therapy through the school district services I was a little wary wondering--but what if I don't put him in the school district kindergarten afterwards "will they be mad?".  I started considering homeschooling more seriously mid-year for Owen, and felt immediately strongly drawn to the idea.  But at the same time I did not feel an urgency, to remove him immediately.

But the more I thought about it the more I felt like this is what we wanted.  It's as simple as that.  Not "it's the best choice," or "most beneficial," or he'll be the smartest this way," or anything like that.  Simply--it is what we want. 

What we want is for him to grow up with his brothers.  That's how we always imagined our family.   For them to learn together, and play together, and develop invested relationships that they can each fall back on for strength later in their lives.  We want them to be outside in the natural world.  To spend uninterrupted hours playing out in the beautiful fall weather that will quickly be here.  I want my children to recognize me and Jeremy as sources of knowledge and guidance in their lives (though not the only source of course).  And I want to be privy to watching my children explore and learn, develop and grow.  But back again to the most important feeling--that I want them to do it together. 

Looking at that picture of Jonas breaks my heart.  If the major goals of sending Owen away to school can be accomplished without sending Owen away to school--then that is what we choose. 

We choose together.

Master Plan

We, as parents, have the responsibility to fully educate our children.

If we choose to we can delegate some of that responsibility to other teachers, mentors, and institutions, but particularly when our children are young the responsibility to see that education is happening still falls back onto the parents. 

In the book A Thomas Jefferson Education Home Companion (Which IS a book on home-based education, but don't dismiss it because you aren't a homeschooling family because you'll completely miss where I am going with this conversation) it talks about creating a Master Plan for the education of your children, and I found it completely fascinating.  Diann Jepson outlines nine key elements of an effective master plan.  Take a look:

Academic Programs--Some people may immediately fill in "Public Schools K-12".  But I think it is important to realize that that is a choice.  As I've considered the education of my children I've found some of the complete resistance to doing anything differently very interesting.  There is this idea that using the public schools is "just what you do"  because that's why it exists.  But there are other options for academic programs.  There's online schools and private schools and home schools.  As far as home schooling, some people might use full prepared curriculum that they purchase,  Other people simply have a house full of good books that they open often with their children. 

Classics: your list  -- If you ever said "Oh I loved reading that book when I was little.  I will definitely read that to my own children one day."  That is where this list comes from.  It's important to realize that classics exist in every field of study--who were the pioneers of that field and what did they produce?   Art, music, writings, autobiographies.  There's more to education than text books.

Cultural Literacy, Breadth and Depth --  Listing and considering all the topic areas that you find important in your children's cultural literacy can help you see where your personal list of classics, might need some supplementation.  Art, citizenship, geography, philosophy, major fields of science, architecture, government, foreign language.  Parent's all over put their children in "extra-curricular activities"  Do we choose those based on how they are helping develop our children into more well-rounded people, or because it was the cheapest option or what their friends were doing?

Adult skills  --There's always one freshman that gets to the college dorms without really knowing how to do their own laundry--I won't let that be my kid!  There's also cooking, knowing how to sew a button back on, and perform first aid.  Maintaining a car and bike, and basic household appliances and whatever skills might be important in your family situation.  And most of this skills education should happen at home, by way of example and teaching from parents, or neighbors or grandparents. 

Organizational Programs --These are programs in existence that you want to use to help your children develop skills and attributes you desire.  Boy Scouts, and Girl Scouts, 4-H, Suzuki, dance/science/math camps, church youth achievement programs, continental congress simulation etc.

Experience  -- Some experiences are things we just think our children should have experience with before reaching adulthood.  Public speaking, a musical performance, lead a group, create a small business and similar things.

Places to Go  -- Climbing mountains, visiting historical sites or other countries, a rafting trip or survival trek.  All the places that going in person will help to round out your children's education. 

God  --Obviously our plan for the spiritual education of our children falls outside the responsibility of any state-run schools.

Family Relationships   --How will you nurture the family environment you desire?

After you decide the "what" your children's education will consist of on the educational master plan, you outline the systems of "how" you will see to it.   So "Enroll son in 4-H at age 7, support his activities in it" goes on the plan as well as, "Family read-aloud time for a half hour every night at 7:30," to get through your list of literature classics. 

Reading through these elements of an Education Master Plan and how to create systems to implement it was so empowering for me.  So much of it was the type of intuitive planning I did before I was married and before I was a mother.

I grew up in a rich learning environment.  My mother had studied early childhood education, and was always providing learning opportunities for us.   She loved learning herself and that came through in the household we grew up in.  We went on hikes, visited museums, took classes, read books and I grew up desiring to do many of those same kinds of things with my own children. 

It can feel like a burden but is very important to realize that we are responsible for the education of our children, and also to realize that even if we've chosen to put our children in public schools that that doesn't mean their whole education is covered.  We, as parents, have work to do. 

Considering His Education

We recently reached the end of the school year and I am no closer to deciding what Owen's schooling will look like next year-- most importantly whether it will take place at school or at home.

I went ahead and filled out the paperwork to pre-register for next year in public school.  I also filled out an optional form expressing my concerns for consideration in Owen's potential classroom placement next year. (It's not a teacher request form--so don't be confused!)  Everything I wrote on the form was straight from Owen's IEP (Individualized Education Plan) but also aligned with the description of the classroom of the teacher I would choose--if I could. 

Jeremy supported me in filling out the paperwork.  As he said: "keeping all the doors open until we choose to close them."

In reality I am in complete inner turmoil over this all.  We decided to put the decision off until the school year ended.  And now it's here and Jeremy and I have to move past the theoretical discussion of home-based education versus public school (which we have actually enjoyed) and move into the realm of discussing our own life and children and the realities of our situation. 

Jeremy is also keen on the idea of "trying out" homeschooling this summer.  And so it was with the sound of school bells still echoing in our ears that we had our first homeschool lesson of the summer.  Owen, who is now reading very well, pointed at a website side banner saying "bu..., bu..., What does that word spell?"

"That's a hard one" I explained, "It's 'buy.' And actually there are three different ways to spell it."  So I grabbed a scrap paper in front of me and diagrammed the three spellings of [bahy] along with illustrations to show what they mean.

 

Owen said, "OK thanks." and ran off.

And that's pretty much how I see homeschool happening around here.  Teaching in the moment, facilitating more moments, and spending lots of time as a family and with his brothers.  Easy.

Except that it's not always easy, and there are things he'll miss not being in public school. There are pros and cons to both models of education, and to not acknowledge that is unfair to our children. But in the end a decision has to be made.

But, thankfully today is not "the end," and so today the decision waits.