And Then There Were Five

Reader discretion:  This is a birth story and will include frank descriptions of bodily functions and the birth process.

At 6am I was vaguely aware that Jeremy was up out of bed returning one of our kids to their own bed.  I felt a sudden wetness between my legs, and instantly wondered and hoped it was my water breaking.  

I've never had my water break spontaneously before, and I didn't feel or hear the "pop", but after sitting on the toilet a few minutes I was sure I wasn't just passing urine.  I had called Jeremy, and we just sat looking at each other.  He wondered what we do next, and I said, 'Wait for contractions to pick up.'  

We tried to go back to bed.  Twice I put on a pad and lay on a towel, to just quickly jump up out of bed and run to the bathroom!  Finally, I decided to just sit in the empty tub on a towel for a while.  After a little while the leaking slowed down so I got out to join the rest of the family.  Jeremy had already begun to tidy up the house, so we worked on that for a few hours and my contractions slowly started coming closer together and being stronger.  

At 9 we texted some friends about having the boys over and I texted my midwife about my waters and 5 minute-contractions.  She asked if I was ready for her to come over and I told her, "Not just yet."  

I had a couple of pretty serious contractions during breakfast, so we told the boys they needed to get dressed and clean up their trains and Lego's and then we'd take them over to friends' houses.  But during the hour it took to do that my contractions slowed down and got easier.  

At my midwife appointment the day before, she determined that my previously-optimally-positioned baby had slid towards my back to a posterior positioning.  I had spent much of the previous day on my hands and knees to try and give him the opportunity to align himself better, so I did some more of that.  But the contractions stayed sparse.  

We decided, since we needed a few things, to go take a walk around Target to encourage contractions.  It's just around the corner from our house and I packed a towel in my diaper bag just in case I ended up needing to wrap myself up in it and run out!

At 1pm we were in the Jimmy Johns drive through for lunch when my midwife texted me for an update.  She suggested I pick up some castor oil on the way home--since my waters had broken we really needed to have the baby "today".  

At 2pm I drank a fruit smoothy with 2 Tbls castor oil mixed in.  Around 3pm my contractions started to pick up just a little.  At 3:40 we decided to have Jeremy take the boys to friends' houses.  Rory woke up from his nap just in time to go out the door, and I had Jeremy take a picture of me holding him one last time as my "baby".  

As soon as Jeremy left the contractions intensified.  I went in to the bathroom and (aided by the castor oil) emptied my bowels through a number of contractions.

I texted my midwife that she could come over now because contractions had picked up and I was interested in checking on the baby.  (Though I really wanted to insert a disclaimer about not thinking it was really time yet.)  She and her birth assistant and a student midwife all pulled into the driveway at the same time as Jeremy right after 4pm.  The baby was born at 5:04.

They all came in and set up the room for birth.  Remade my bed with fresh sheets and a plastic shower curtain liner underneath.  Another shower curtain on the ground in front of my bed where they also put the birth stool I had mentioned at one appointment I might be interested in.  And pulled out the kit of supplies I had ordered and set everything up.

Meanwhile I had latched on to Jeremy who is always my rock during labor.  I squeeze his hands and pull on his arms and hang on him, and he just provides for me.  He comforts me and stands by me.

My midwife asked if I was starting to feel pressure.  I didn't really answer but in the next contraction at one point  let out a bit of growl with a grunt.  Jeremy (nervously) asked, "Are you trying to push?"

"Yes, she is."  My midwife responded in a pleased tone of voice that I was totally glad to hear--meaning she wasn't telling me to wait!  She asked if I wanted her to check where I was in terms of progress and I did.  So I got up on the bed and she said I was basically there.  I breathed through a few more contractions and then started pushing.

I was trying to push in a controlled manner (always hoping in vain to avoid stitches) but still trying to push hard, but wasn't making much progress.  (After Owen my kids have all come in about 3 contractions.)  We propped me up on some more pillows, she encouraged me to pull back on my knees more.  (At one point scolding me for trying to "run away" from that contraction--which was totally what I had done.)  Then she asked if I wanted to move to the birthing stool.  I did because I was really very confused at why the baby wasn't out yet.

I sat on the stool and the change of position was good just to help me get on top of the contraction and push from a different angle.  His head came slowly out and once it did, I said, "Oh, good!"  unlike Wyatt"s birth where I momentarily panicked in between head and body, this time I was just happy that it actually happened--the head was out, the end was here!  My body took a little pause and with the next contraction I pushed his body out!

He cried right away, and she suctioned his mouth and nose, and I delivered the placenta, then moved up into bed.

Peter Tom, 8 pounds 5 ounces, 22 inches long.  Born 11 hours after my water breaking, 38 weeks 5 days gestation

In this picture you can see a little bit how his head is misshapen from delivery.  He was born posterior (aka "face up", aka "the wrong way"!) But then his head also came through off-centered (I cant remember the technical term)  so his head was elongated to the one side.  Basically, both those things led to the increase in effort needed to push him out.

My midwife said she was wondering in the middle of it all if the baby had a hand up by his face or something, because it was definitely taking more effort and time than are generally needed for a 5th baby to come out!

Mom and baby getting checked out after delivery!

Apparently there was something different about my placenta as well, but I wasn't aware of the conversation going on about it--Jeremy caught a little of it.  But my midwife was telling the other two that they sure got to see a number of interesting things with my delivery.

So we've been recovering at home the last few days.  I'm sore from delivery, but frankly I just feel great not being pregnant anymore--it get's so painful and uncomfortable at the end!

The boys love Peter, and Jeremy is being a great dad--to all the boys.

Baby legs!

Sweet boy!

Birthing

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Birth Story Time!  That means TMI and frank descriptions of female reproduction system processes.  Proceed according to your own informed consent:-)

 He's here: Baby Rory

For weeks I had been having my normal warm-up contractions 15-30 minutes apart all day, but no pain or progression.  Tuesday night I was up in the night with contractions 5 minutes apart for about 3 hours, but they were not painful or progressing, so I knew it wasn't labor unless they went anywhere from there.  All Thursday I was depressed, because I wasn't in labor, and I really wanted to pick the day I went into labor like my friend Anna did!  Friday I went in for a regular checkup.  My doctor checked my cervix because I'm curious to know what's going on.  I was dilated to a 3, so my doctor tried to give me a little pep talk that he really didn't think I would be walking around at a 3 and make it to 42 weeks.

I woke up Sunday at 5:30 to go to the bathroom.  I happened to look down after wiping and noticed the tissue was dark.  I had to flip on a light because I don't bother turning on lights to pee in the middle of the night--especially when going 6 times a night while pregnant.  It was some bloody show.  This actually surprised me because I have never had any show with my previous labors.  I tried to lay down but was having contractions about 7 minutes apart.  And these ones were accompanied with definite crampy feelings down in the lower front of my belly.  "Sweet" I said "labor contractions!"

I got in the bathtub to relax for a while in the quiet.  I was thinking how great it was that I had gotten good sleep the night before so I could be rested and not be up all night with labor like I was for Wyatt's Birth.  After about an hour Jonas and Owen woke up an came in to use the restroom.  I had my back to them and didn't say anything because I didn't know if they would even notice me or not.  --They did--  Jonas said, "Huh.  That's weird--Mom's sleeping in the bathtub."  Owen responded, "It's good for her."  (Can you tell I've been getting my own way the last little bit of pregnancy and whatever I decide I want it's because "it's good for me"!?)  I was up for about 2 more hours with the contractions.  Then I went to relax on my bed.  My three little boys were sitting on my bed with me and we were all talking.  I was thinking how this was the end of my "three boys"-- pretty soon I would have four!  Jeremy herded the crew out and I fell asleep around 8:30.

I woke up about 11:30 and the contractions were gone.  Nothing.  Back to the 20 minutes or so between with no crampiness at all.  I was so frustrated.  I had been telling Jeremy in the morning about how "show" was a really reliable sign of labor, and here I was, no longer in labor.  We missed our church from 9-12 so after 12 the phone calls started coming in, all to Jeremy's phone--Is she in labor?! Did you have the baby?

"No, she thought she was, but not anymore.  No baby."

DE-pressing!

Finally in the late afternoon we went for a family walk to see if we could try and get the contractions going again. They did start back up but stayed at 7 min, and weren't getting any more difficult. So about 11pm, pouting, I got ready for bed. After putzing around, by the time I was laying down in bed with the lights out it was 12:30am.  Then I noticed the contractions were actually coming 5 min apart.  I timed 4 of them about 6 minutes apart, then I fell asleep.  At 1am (10 minutes later) a contraction hit me that got me out of bed. I labored through a handful of contractions and at 1:30 I got Jeremy up to whine at him. He asked if things were progressing, and I told him they were, he said he was calling the babysitter then. I didn't want him to because I'd only been in active labor a whole 30 minutes.  I was stressed out about when to call someone and about going to the hospital for no reason--especially if labor was going to stop again.

After watching me labor through a few contractions Jeremy called the babysitter. I didn't think I was as far along as last time when I went to the hospital.  So I made sure to have Jeremy tell labor and delivery I wanted a room with a whirlpool tub available when he called ahead.  The babysitter came over and we finished packing and got in the car.  We were about to pull out and I said, "Wait."  A contraction was hitting me so I needed to stand up.  I'd been laboring through them by leaning against a wall or door frame, (or car) with my head down, and swaying my hips through it.  I didn't do that position at all during my last labor, but for this one it was just what came instinctually, and I did it the whole time.  Then I buckled in and we started driving.  I had one--super uncomfortable--contraction on the drive, and as soon as we arrived I got out for the next one.

We got checked in at the hospital (I think I've had the same room every time).  When the nurse checked my dilation, she asked if I was thinking I wanted any anesthesia, and I said "Not necessarily. . . ", She said "Ok because you're at an 8 or 9 and really stretchy."

So much for the tub.


So then the Dr. broke my water, and I just labored. It was getting really intense at the end and I was telling the nurse I felt pressure and felt pushy. She kept checking me and saying I had just a little bit of cervix left to dilate. She left the room a number of times--I think she was trying to convince the doctor I was ready. But the last time she was gone my body just took over, and I started screaming and felt myself pushing, and then everyone came in running and "suiting up".  I cried, "The Baby!" as in--The baby is coming, I just felt him move halfway down the birth canal, the rest of him is coming soon, so hopefully someone is going to get down there and catch him!"

As the nurse ran in she said, "OK we're going to have you push with the next contraction,"  (like I had a choice at that point!  She was tying the doctor's gown and breaking down the bed.  With the next contraction there was more yelling, and pushing by my body.  The nurse said, "Give us one more good push and the head will be out."  The funny thing was I was thinking, "Oh, I should push.  Then this will be over."  So that was my first "conscious" push, the prior two were just my body.  "Now push the body out," she said  And I birthed my baby.

He was born at 4:42am, 8 lbs 5 oz, 21 inches long.

They put him up on my belly and I said, "Oh, Baby!"  He was so warm and squishy, and it is just amazing every time that one minute there are 5 people in a room and the next minute there are 6.   And the process can't be reversed!  A new little person is there, ready for life on the outside.  We are so excited to have him here

Pictures!

 This is me in the "not so much fun anymore" stage of labor.  I've got my "V" on for my mom, who thinks its funny that her Chinese students always do it in pictures.

 Just born.

That's my "Oooh Baby!" face. 

 Here's baby's "Where did my nice squishy waterbed go?" face.

 My mom has deemed that all pictures composed of the above subjects be captioned, "Rory and the Doctor."

 After two "brownies" back to back it looks like Rory will be a fair-eyed boy, like Owen. Right now he's slate blue. 

 Brothers came to visit and they were besotted--the whole lot of them.

See that wasn't so bad--now that it's over.  Plus: Ice Chips!

We're all pretty excited for our new baby, and I am super happy to not be pregnant anymore!

L'Hopital

Jeremy and I decided early on in this pregnancy that I would be seeking prenatal care with an OB and delivering in a hospital. I've been on the wrong end of the not-going-to-happen-in-most-cases statistics to feel wise giving birth in any other way. So I wanted to share my thoughts on preparing for a natural delivery in a hospital (including what I'd do differently if I was doing it again), and my Top 10 best things about delivering in a hospital.


Natural Childbirth in a Hospital

I did not have strong feelings of wanting to deliver naturally this pregnancy. My biggest goal was wanting to go into labor spontaneously. Both of my previous deliveries were inductions, and for the sake of experience, I really just wanted to go into labor on my own. That being said, I thought it was possible that in going into labor spontaneously that the chances of my having a natural delivery were higher.

Everyone's definition of natural delivery is different. It can range from simply delivering without pain medication, to unassisted childbirth--delivering a baby without a trace of medical intervention, including not ever even talking to a doctor or midwife and delivering at home on your own.

In planning for a natural childbirth you need to decide which elements of "natural" are important to you, personally. Then base the care that you seek in a delivery location and medical provider on those points. There are some official policies that the hospital will have-- for example our local hospital does not allow VBACs. But then there are also "standard procedures," that they normally do, but can actually be refused. There are also preferred practices of your doctor or midwife. They actually can call a lot of the shots in the hospital about your delivery (in your favor and not) so it's really important to talk with your provider about your desires.

Two things I talked to my doctor about were not having an IV and delayed cord clamping. He told me the hospital does give an IV standard, but he said I could refuse it. Also, he said I could get just the hep-lock with no IV connected and that would probably make the nurses feel more comfortable, just in case of emergency. But, he said, if I was willing to drink during labor to stay hydrated, he was comfortable with me refusing an IV.

In regards to delayed cord clamping my doctor was also accommodating. He said that based on his personal research into the topic he could see no significant evidence for or against it. So in that case he was willing to do whatever I wanted, and said that he regularly did delay cord clamping as requested.

At my actual delivery I did get the hep-lock. Based on the stage of my labor we got there at Jeremy said I probably wouldn't be moving around much from that point on so he thought I should go ahead and get it. My feelings on the subject were not that strong, so I went ahead and got it. It bugged me a bit, but really towards the end it kind of gave me a physical focus point for my frustration and and discomfort during contractions.

Other interventions I did not have strong feelings against were the external fetal monitoring, and internal cervical checks. In fact I want those things because I'm curious about what's going on with my body. In truth I never looked at the fetal monitors this delivery, because I was too focused on my breathing, but I know Jer watched them, and I've watched them in my previous deliveries. But if I had been in the hospital longer I was going to request intermittent monitoring so I could walk around and also labor in the tub for a while.

Finally, another intervention I agreed with was the artificial rupturing of membranes right before delivery. The baby was right there. Releasing the waters allowed the baby's head to push past the cervix for delivery, and delivery was so imminent that the risk of introducing infection at that point was nil.

My other suggestions for delivering naturally in a hospital would be these:

Wait for labor to come naturally. With an induction you are on an IV and monitors from the start, you're likely to end up with more interventions.

Stay home as long as possible. Also, with this one there is less time on the monitors which means less opportunity for a false alarm problem. Also, at home there is no medication, so you can't ask for it. At the hospital you know the medication is available, that makes it harder to refuse. There was a point at home in my labor where I thought: if it was daytime and I could easily take my boys to someone's house, I'd probably be going to the hospital right now, and if I was at the hospital right now, I'd be really tempted by the epidural. However, you can take this too far. In the end, I was actually wondering at one point when we were heading out the door if we were going to make it to the hospital in time to deliver.

Finally, always question an intervention you weren't planning on. This was something I read preparing for delivery this time. A lot of times when doctors or nurses want to introduce an intervention it's not necessary right this second. So ask: can we wait another hour before trying that etc. In many situations, you can just wait things out. And some women want to speed things along, like use pitocin to get things going, so you really just need to make your preferences known.

I have one thing I would have done differently if I was doing it over again with the goal to go drugless. Once I got to the hospital, I had obviously hit transition. I pretty much laid down in the bed for my nurse to check me, and I stayed there from that point on. I was tired from having gotten no sleep that night, and the contractions were super-intense. I don't know that laying down slowed anything down, but it definitely didn't speed things along. In retrospect, I think I should have asked for the squat bar. They attach to the bed so I wouldn't have really had to go anywhere, but I think being upright may have helped to decrease the time between when I got there and delivered. (Although maybe then my doctor wouldn't have made it!) But at the time it never even crossed my mind, so I didn't squat.

Top 10 best things about delivering in the hospital

10: Cable TV- Although I was actually quite disappointed in the programing while I was there. Maybe we aren't missing anything by not having cable.

9: The great view of an urban landscape out the window-- There was a fireworks show for me the night I delivered.

8: Seeing the other babies--When Wyatt was getting his morning pediatrician check-up I took a little walk to watch through the nursery window. There was at least 4 other cute babies, 3 girls one boy. Mine had the biggest head, but not the most hair.

7: SWAG--There's all kinds of souvenirs to bring home for the baby scrapbook, like a special certificate that say's Congratulations Mom and Dad, your baby can hear!

6: No kids--Ok really I did miss my boys. They visited me for about an hour and a half each day. But for my health it's better for me to just rest, and not feel tempted to get out of bed and take care of my boys.

5: Pee-pee parties-- The celebration of the nurses the first time you empty your bladder post-delivery.

4: Endless supply of ice pellets-- It beats buying a bag at Sonic.

3: The night time nursery-- I haven't slept the last 4 months, and won't for the next 6 months. I've sent all three boys to the hospital nursery at night with no guilt. I deserve to have those two nights of decent sleep.

2: Room service dining- 6:30 am to 7 pm just pick up the phone and get all the doughnuts and chocolate milk I could want. . . oh, and salad.

1: Someone else does the laundry!

The Labor That Was

Here is the story of the birth of our baby Wyatt, or: The False Labor that Wouldn't Go Away.


Since my 38 week appointment I had been having more intense Braxton hicks contractions. They were beginning to feel crampy in my lower front belly, not just the normal tightening.

Three nights later I was over at a friend’s house scrapbooking, having my consistent—like normal—Braxton hicks. I definitely knew I was having a lot that night. I had one as I was leaving her house, then another one on my drive home, and another as I was coming into our house. That was all within 15 minutes.

We stayed up kind of late that night. Jeremy was working on homework, so he put on Sherlock Holmes for us to watch. Later when I was getting ready to lay down after helping put a 2-year-old nightcrawler back in bed, I was feeling distracted by my contractions, so I decided to dig out the old Walkman and listen to my new CD to relax in bed and wait for them to clam down.

After a while I decided I’d go get in the bath tub to try and relax to get them to stop. I listened to my CD some more in the tub and just tried to relax. I was starting to think I might be in labor—but that would be too good to be true, or else I wasn't ready for it yet, I couldn't decide—so I was trying to think about my different options. It was the middle of the night, and we had some friends who we had talked to about coming over here to be with the boys if I was in labor in the night, but I wasn’t entirely sure if I was really in labor.

I knew that if I was going to go into the hospital for a labor check they would want some history of my contraction pattern, so I got out of the tub. By some magical time warp it was already 4am. I started thinking I might be able to make it through the night without having to call someone here. Then I could go “see if I was in labor” in the morning before Jeremy’s class. Our computer takes forever to load up, so I was finally on the internet at 4:20 to start timing my contractions on contractionmaster.com.

I sat on my birthing ball and at first was trying to find something to distract myself with on the internet. But eventually I felt like I needed to stand up and sway my hips during the contractions. I also had to use the restroom—often! I posted on our family’s website around 5:15 am:

“I think I'm in labor. But I'm holding out as long as possible so we can call someone to watch the boys at a more "reasonable" time in the morning. No reason to wake them up just so I can go sit in the hospital and do the exact same thing I'm doing here: rock and breathe."

At that point my contractions had been 2-4 minutes apart for the hour I’d been monitoring them. I knew that if it was day time, that we should be headed to the hospital by now based on those numbers. I decided I’d wake Jeremy up at 6, and have him do the timing, so I could try laying down on the couch and see if that made them calm down. (I was totally in denial.)

I went in and woke him and he asked me “Yeah?” but a contraction was starting so I couldn’t respond and just walked out of the room so he would follow me. When that one finished I asked him if he would time my contractions for me (push the start/stop button) so that I could lie down on the couch. He asked “How long’s this been going on?” But I didn’t answer and he said “Oh,” as he scrolled down my long list of an hour an a half of timed contractions.

When I laid down on the couch the contractions did change. They intensified, and suddenly I had to vocalize through them. I was deep breathing in and then deep breathing out with a ahh, mmm, or ohh. (“Or I’m just being a whiner because my husband is awake to listen”-I thought.) A few contractions later Jeremy came over and we started discussing a plan.

At 6:15 Jeremy called some friends, and said, “We’re having a baby- can we come drop our boys off?” Then he ran around grabbing clothes for the boys and the last couple of things I needed for my hospital bag. Owen woke up in the commotion and he ran over to me and gave me a big hug and said, “I’m so happy you are going to push the baby out today!”

The thought crossed my mind that maybe I should have Jeremy drop me off at the hospital first and then take the boys (in case we didn’t make it in time), but knew I really didn’t want to be there alone, and figured it would probably be fine. I was standing up in our bedroom doorway as Jeremy was getting ready to load the car. I was wearing my kelly green Christmas tree pajama bottoms, and Jeremy’s bright red SLC Real soccer T-shirt. Jeremy stopped and looked me up and down. “And you, you look great.” He said, “You just go like that.”

On the drive I was breathing my deep breath in and my “ahh” out. Owen was bouncing off the walls in the back seat, yelling “Ahh, Ahh Ahh!” Jeremy got after him, “Owen! You need to calm down and be quiet! Your mom is hurting.”

When we got to the hospital, Jeremy dropped me off at the door and went to park the car. The couple of people around the info desk looked at me with interest. When I had a contraction the man went and got me a wheelchair. “They’re just wanting to be helpful.” I said to Jer in the elevator. They were expecting us upstairs since Jeremy had called before we left the house.

When we got into our room I noticed the clock on the wall said 7:11. My nurse asked if I was going to want an epidural and I told her I wanted to see where I was at first. She checked me and said she thought I was at a 7-8 but had a huge bulging bag of waters that was hard to feel around. So she called in another nurse for a second opinion. She said “Yep, 8 with a bulging bag.” So they called my doctor.


I didn’t actually get out of bed from that point on. Jeremy was really good to me. He was vocally supportive, and held my hand. Towards the end it helped for me to squeeze his hand kind of in pulses during the contractions.

My doctor got there and said “What a great start to my morning!” (I love my OB.) We then had him break my water, and he told me I could start pushing as soon as I felt like it. He went out for a minute, and I had a few contractions. I was not necessarily feeling “the urge” but I was feeling tons of pressure, and ready to have this baby. So I told them I wanted to start pushing.

They came in to get dressed and things set up and I started trying to push. The first couple contractions I couldn’t push, because I was deep breathing through them and couldn't figure out how to coordinate my breathing and pushing. Then I felt like I pushed a few times with minimal progression, but my Dr. said the baby made progress down the canal. My next few pushes definitely progressed because I started to feel a lot of stretching. Then of course came the baby’s head. All I can say was it was seriously so incredibly intense. Each of my pushes were grunts that turned into yells as my body bore down.

Then they said to me “OK, now push the shoulders out.” I had one of those internal conversations in an instant. Where really I was like “No way! I can’t do this. I am doing this. There really is no other choice. Ok, I’ll do it.” And then I pushed out the shoulders and rest of the baby with another grunt-yell.

And instantly it’s over. Instantly, I was done and the pain was gone and I was breathing and everything was fine. When the cord stopped pulsing we clamped it and Jeremy cut it. And it was done. He was here, and he made it, and we did it. And Jeremy cried, because this was our baby who we didn’t know would make it to us or not.

His name is Wyatt and we love him.


The other birth facts: His his official birth time was 8:18 am. He was 8 lbs 3 oz and 21 inches long. He came spontaneously at 38 weeks and 6 days gestation. He was born with a nuchal cord. It was wrapped one time around him, but my Dr. said he hadn’t guessed, because the baby did great during delivery, without any heart-rate trouble. I had a second degree tear that occurred along my old scar line, just the same as last time—scar tissue just doesn’t stretch well.